Building Your Support System After Having a Baby

There is a difference between being independent and being unsupported.

Having a baby can make that difference very clear. Suddenly there are appointments, feeding decisions, household responsibilities, recovery and a person who needs you around the clock.

You do not need to prove that you can carry all of it by yourself.

Your support system doesn't have to be limited to your partner or immediate family.

It might include a close friend, a neighbour, another mother, a midwife, doctor, therapist, family member or someone in your community.

Different people can support different parts of your life.

Sometimes we don't ask for help because we don't want to inconvenience anyone. We wait until someone notices that we're struggling.

But people cannot always see what you need.

Try making the request simple and specific: 'Could you stay with the baby for an hour while I sleep?' is much easier for someone to respond to than 'I need help.'

You spend so much of motherhood caring for someone else that receiving care can feel unfamiliar.

Let the people who love you contribute. You don't have to earn their support by being completely exhausted first.